Tuesday, August 26, 2008


It was an interesting conversation over the sushi, this question of arrogance. See the thing is I’ve been accused of this before, though one of the people who called me out was just yanking my chain in the great mating game. But I guess as I pointed out to the boys I (and we) are a bit arrogant, especially when it comes to associating with the expats in SoCal.

See I have this thing, I remember where I’m from. Just because it’s been almost nine (yes nine) years since I’ve left home I haven’t left any of that behind. I still dress the same, jeans, t-shirt, flip flops; you won’t see me in football jerseys and pants sagging around my ankles. I speak the same, no nasal American accent or posh tosh Brit accent. I detest the people who have been here for a month and speak like they have Paris Hilton stuck up their arses. I have been successful enough without having to compromise who I am.

So yes I guess I’m arrogant, but the funny thing is I’m not at the same time. I get along famously with similar souls who I’ve meet for the first time. I think I need the same irreverence that I have towards everything reflected in my friends, the absolute opposition to fakeness and insincerity and the ability to laugh at oneself.

This probably explains why I have so few (read none) American friends, while I had so many (and still have) British friends. The Americans take themselves too bloody seriously and combine that with my irreverence makes for a lot of bruised egos. Back to the subject, I guess my arrogance comes because when I see the qualities I so dislike in a bunch of people, I clam up, which can so often be interpreted as arrogance…when it’s actually disregard.

Those of you who know me, feel free to comment. I will bear no harsh feelings.

Sunday, August 24, 2008

Late night phone calls

Maybe there is something to late night phone calls....for once that was nice. Perhaps the game is still on...I just wish December would hurry up and come along...for that final reach for the finish line.

Friday, August 22, 2008

The regretful robot

You know when P and S mentioned as an aside that after watching Stealth, they though they would pick Jessica Biel over Jessica Alba any day…I was understandably a bit taken aback. Granted they (I think) did not go through puberty with the wet dream of an equally pubescent Jessica Alba frolicking around in a bikini (I believe there was a cetacean involved somewhere in that equation) but still…Alba’s ass is one of the greatest gifts to mankind, right up there with fiber optics and liposuction. If you need any evidence ask me about the plot for Into the Blue. I swear I’ve seen it about 10 times but all I remember is a brown bikini.

Anywhoo….back to Stealth, OMFG…isn’t it the coolest film ever…like totally!? Whew…apologies for that, I think I’ve been in the Valley too much. But seriously, the movie hits all the right spots, explosions, blue bikini, planes, flyboys, blue bikini, exotic locales, guns, blue bikini, etc.

The high points were however as follows:

  • A regretful robot – seriously Eddie is soooo much more 21st Century than Hal ever was. He feels sorry; he has empathy for the thousands of people he condemned to death by radiation poisoning. If he had a female flying deep penetration unit to hang out with, he’d be asking to be held in the night…when the tears come. Like the rest of us 21st Century males.
  • A geography lesson – before Stealth I didn’t know where Tajikistan (omfg, I spelt that right the first time). I especially did not know where it was in relation to Alaska and North Korea. I mean most movies show you exotic locales, but how many films show you where they are. Bloody brilliant.
  • A ladyboy – was it just me but did anyone else notice that the totally hot chick Jamie Foxx picked up at a Thai forest monastery (seriously, who knew that was a pick up joint) had an Adam’s apple? I think he got that page (btw the Navy lets them fly super futuristic jets but gives them pagers to get in touch? Really?) at just the right time.
  • Jamie Foxx running into a mountain face – enough said.

I do have a few criticisms though, minor really but I feel I would be letting humanity down if I wasn’t totally honest with this review:

  • Why the fuck did the North Korean dude shoot Jessica Biel? Seriously hot chick parachutes into your country you capture her alive and then possibly buy her a drink. You do not go poking holes in her. Could you not see that brilliant ass in your scope? Idiot.
  • Why did Jessica Biel and Josh Lucas break into North Korea? I’m confused…see they ran towards the North Korean lines through a wasteland (which I assume was the DMZ) and then broke through the lines. Aided of course by a self sacrificing robot. Odd that.

But the key question that I have as a result of the movie is one that is going to provide me with a conundrum for some time to come. One that I would dearly love to solve first hand (weak pun).

Which ass to choose?