Thursday, July 31, 2008

No Nudity Please

Not that I’m against nakedness you know. But generally when it’s a cute girl…or even sometimes a mediocre girl when I have a high BAC. Beggars can’t be choosers right? Naked, wrinkly, old men though are however not high on my list for nude spotting.

There I was in the gym kind of elated that I ran into the only cute girl from work at the gym and I would finally be able to judge how her ass looked and picked myself a locker. As I took my shirt off up rolled some clown, you know the usual middle aged yobo. Typically of most Americans he tried to engage me in some random small talk about the baseball game that was going on the screen in the locker room. Typically of me, I ignored him (I don’t even understand baseball), plugged into my earphones and bent over to put my shoes on.

I’m not sure how long I took to put on my shoes but when I looked up my balls retracted. The gentleman next to me had not only disrobed but appeared to be putting on something that looked like a cross between a jock strap, a BDSM device and a leather thong. All thoughts of the work girl’s ass fled, never to be thought again.

Along with my balls.

Perhaps a career as a tenor.


rasti said...

You know, I find the small talk kind of nice and often forget how much of a cultural thing it is. I get heat from the family in Colombo when I'm in Sri Lanka for "talking to strangers." Trying to cut back though because sometimes people mistake it for a pick up! Which more often than not is so not kosher.

Scrumpulicious said...

Man - I know what you mean. Naked oldies (male and female) scar me for life. I know I'll be like that one day but I won't expose myself to innocent eyes like they do to mine! :$

N said...

Rasti - To be fair the only time I engage in small talk is if its a fit bird, or if its someone with a cool camera:S

scrump - I know, its horrible innit? Hpw hard is it to cover up?

Damith S. said...

Im going through the same dilemma of late. I started going swimming- on a regular basis, previously it was on a once every time I holiday basis. These old chinks are flat out buck naked and it really throws me off.

Im not really used to the whole idea of the "male locker room" but its really annoying and scary !
Completely throws me off on my daily routine of picking the hottest bikini clad girl at the pool
Bah !