Wednesday, July 23, 2008

A Southern Californian Fairytale (Part 2)

Cough… sincere apologies for the delay.

Where was I?

Oh yeah…channeling Sir Mixalot, how did it go? “I like big butts and I cannot lie!”

Well to be fair I don’t really like big butts that much, but then after a BAC of 10% who was I to be picky.

To be honest I can’t remember the lines that I threw but suffice to say that she had my number and I had her email by the end of the dance with the promise of a studio shoot for her portfolio. That I didn’t have any experience doing a portfolio shoot or for that matter a studio was a slight issue, but then to be fair, like most strip club experiences (don’t ask) I expected nothing to come of it.

Some incredulousness from P, a dropped cigarette in the car and a hangover later all I could remember was something about a Lavish from the night before. So there I was staring rather blearily at a computer screen suffering the Monday blues when the phone buzzed.

Hmm….818 number…must be a consultant accidently calling my cell.


“Hi Honey, it’s Lavish”

To say that I was surprised was probably the understatement of the century.

Of course she wanted a photo shoot. Now the issue of not actually having a studio became a bit of a stickler.

A quick call to P and a trawl of the web brought up a host of DIY photography equipment. Suffice to say that all the boys inhaled enough PVC over the weekend to take at least a decade of our lives. A couple of all nighters, lots of sawing, pissed off neighbours and various hallucinogens later and we had a studio (and a knowledge of plumbing that will obviously stand us in good stead in the years to come).

All that was left was planning the actual shoot. For this we needed research…and it was research of the highest quality and very taxing on the mind. Poring though picture after picture of naked girls to figure out poses and lighting. Rather excitedly I shared with P the fact that I had come across the girl’s old portfolio and even more excitedly pointed out a pose to him.

“Now that would be stellar….just getting the pose might be a bit of an issue eh?” Said I.

So the big day rolled around. Lavish turned up and in the blink of an eye was naked. I believe I had to snap my fingers in front of P’s face to get his attention. Fair enough considering she got disrobed at light speed, before we could even suggest lingerie.

“No, I need naked shots”

“Ok then…”

Then it happened. The first test shots were brilliant, but then the dreaded event occurred. I know apparently it happens to everyone, but I’ve certainly never had an issue and I don’t think P has had either.

Equipment malfunction.

Of course if there’s one thing that inspires quick thinking it’s a naked girl. So some quick thinking and some jerry rigging and the shoot progressed. The work was snappy, the giant lightbox was beautiful. Then the big moment came. With a rather wild glint in his eye P mumbled he was going in. Now or never…this was the time to ask for the pose.

“You know you earlier portfolio had a cool shot, we want to repeat it. Could you erm….turn around and spread your ass?”

History was made and a Studio was born….


PseudoRandom said...

HAHAHAHA...when you're old and wrinkly and hobbling around with a walking stick, you're gonna be the coolest granddad around! :D (even cooler if you're still doing photoshoots of pornstars ;-) )

Scrumpulicious said...

I would have like to have been there! Some people get all the luck!

rasti said...

Too much junk in the trunk can be horrific to look at. Especially when squeezed into a pair of jeans which are two sizes too small. But I guess in this instance you didn't really have that issue ;)

N said...

pseudorandom - aww..thanks...I think:)

scrumpulicious - hehe...I'm sure you can get a porn star shoot out there!

rasti - yeah the jeans were kinda non-existent

P said...

Thank you... Thank you... Takes a bow

but have to give credit to n's one track mind... sigh... even in a strip club the boy's thinking of photography...

ZenDenizen said...

Rasti, really? Too much junk in the trunk squeezed into a pair of jeans two sizes too small is EXACTLY the look that gets you a lot of dates in NY.

N, nice fairytale. You wouldn't tell your kids but what you tell the mother of your children? :)

N said...

P - what to do man...everyone must have a weakness!

Zen - why thank you...I'm not sure on that yet, perhaps the vagaries of a wild youth?

ZenDenizen said...

What made it even funnier was that I knew an Indian guy whose name was Lavish!

Jack Point said...

Super stuff.