Thursday, February 26, 2009

And it begins

The emotional blackmail. Put off for awhile since I made a deal that I wait for the blue book and not abscond back to the promised land prematurely. Now that I am inches from that goal, comes the anecdote,

Aunty N’s friends boyfriend…he went to Australia, got citizenship, came back and didn’t get dual. They refused him
Err….why?
No idea…

Sure….why do I have the feeling more aunties and their mothers are going to have trouble with dual, dealing with the shock of moving back.

What baffles me sometimes is the selfishness of the people who say they love you. All they really want is succor for themselves. So what if living here will crush my soul, destroy my sanity and make me a mindless corporate drone consumer? So long as I’m there in some form, who cares if it’s just the husk left.

All I really wanted to say was fuck off, stop putting doubts, paranoia into my head, into a situation which is already scaring the shit out of me. Self doubt is a specter difficult to fight even without the little whisperings of doubt from people who should know better.

4 comments:

Savi said...

Dishing out some horror story when you are about to do something new or move somewhere, I think, is a part of our culture. Every time, I am about to do something new some aunty or the other always comes and says "ooh darling you know..." if they have nothing to say, they will tell you how cold/hot it will be :P

I just go ahead it with it anyway. so if you wanna move back, move back. If you begin to regret it, reapply for jobs in the states and go again. It's your life men..!

ps: I thought aunty n was you ? or are you uncle n?! I forget :s

gutterflower said...

Go ahead and do your thing. Things will, as they always do, inevitably fall into place on way or the other. At the end of the day, only you know whats best for you, after all.

Good luck!

N said...

Savi - fuunnnyyy...very funny...reapplying for jobs in the US is like the last option!!

gutterflower - yes...all gut here...let's see what happens eh? :)

Pink Mist said...

Hugggg! Dude, you're gonna love it here :):) I'd put my money on you falling instantly in love with melbourne like I did.